Secret to Great Sex: Being Old and Married
Jul 3rd, 2009 by admin
When researcher Peggy Kleinplatz put out a call for “great lovers” across Canada and the United States, she and her team were deluged with old married people. “Interviewees said that sex became “greater” when it became slower, less focused on orgasm and less “goal-directed” in general. (…) And with experience, one learned that “the great relief of sexual urges is not the same as great sex.”
Link, h/t Sis.
Sex really is one thing that improves with age and practice, as any aging, sexually active person can attest. There is tremendous resistance to saying this, thinking this, or talking about it, though, in cultures as ageist and old-woman-hating as the U.S. and Canada are.
Heart
Well, or being in a long term relationship.
I once read a piece by Steneim that stated now that she truly only has sex when she feels like it (as opposed to being under the influence of high levels of sex hormones PLUS patriarchy), well, it is quite nice.
Women are so demonized for aging, so this is really an important topic for us.
“Why should the fruit be held less highly than the flower?” (or something like that, I don’t remember the exact wording) - paraphrase George Orwell, 1984. It’s the part where the guy is in his rented hideout, looking out the window at a fat old prole woman hanging laundry and thinking how beautiful she is. I’d like to give my mum a present with those words on it.
Maybe one of the reasons women are demonized for ageing is because Americans don’t respect the old? As stratified as East Asian culture is, honouring seniors is one of the good things about where I come from. Sadly, that’s changing fast too - that elderly parents are more and more often dumped in modern “nursing homes” hidden from sight - and where they can’t have conjugal relations - rather than being allowed to stay in the families they raised.
In five months, I plan to be married. In fifty years, I hope to be married, old, and having great sex.