Rebecca Mott to the Pro-Prostitution Lobby: “Stop the Victimizing, Stop the Undermining, Stop the Lies”
Oct 1st, 2008 by admin
by Rebecca Mott
I am sorry to write again, but I wanted to say that the patronizing attitude the pro-prostitution lobby has towards me is meant to undermine my words.
I get comments saying my “story” is sad and that they do not dislike me as an individual - but always with the refrain that I am manipulated by the “evil” radical feminists.
I want to make it clear to those who choose think my experiences are just bad luck or my lack of judgment, that is not true.
For these same people will say a whole mass of prostituted women and girls have bad luck or have made bad choices:
- Under-aged prostitutes.
- Prostitutes trafficked from other countries.
- Prostitutes who were raped or abused before they were in the sex trade.
- Prostitutes who were raped, battered or verbally abused whilst “working”.
- Prostitutes who are locked into brothels/saunas.
- Prostitutes forced to work out of poverty, or to feed a drug habit.
- Prostitutes who were lied to about the reality of the “work”.
- Prostitutes who move from other aspects of the sex trade without full knowledge of the reality of what they will have to do.
- Prostitutes who cannot choose the men who fuck them, who cannot turn away violent men.
- Prostitutes who are forced by men to have unprotected sex.
- Prostitutes who are underpaid or a large cut is taken by managers/pimps.
And there hundreds of ways that prostituted women are abused by the sex trade.
My experiences are not written about because I am a “sad case”. I write because the more I read, the more I listen, the more I choose to care about the conditions of a whole class of women and girls – the more I know my experiences are the boring reality for the vast majority of prostituted women and girls.
In the end, I cannot change my past but I can use my experiences to help build towards helping prostituted women and girls exit the sex trade and get real choices.
I personally find the idea that I have been “brainwashed” by radical feminists laughable.
Being violently raped for years by countless men may have made me hate prostitution. Being forced to “perform” porn fantasies that cause me a great of physical and mental pain, may have made me campaign against the sex trade. Knowing that most men that use or sell prostituted women and girls have a deep hatred of all women, may have made me a feminist.
I became a radical feminist way before I ever meet any radical feminists.
Seeing men feeling entitled to rape, batter and murder women can make you question the structure of any society that treats that like it is no big deal.
Let me be very clear , it was not words or listening to radical feminists. It was not even reading Andrea Dworkin.
I became a radical feminist because I had managed to survive male violence, and found [in radical feminism] words that did not say it was okay for men to have that privilege.
I am not a victim, I will not fit into that simple box.
When someone says or writes that my “story” is sad, it is usually in order that they can continue to refuse to see the strength that it takes to speak out about the reality for the majority of prostituted women and girls.
I would say those who choose to view me as a sad case are doing so in order to maintain the status quo of the sex trade: that the right of men to a constant flow of women and girls to fuck or sell should not be questioned.
So the [pro-porn] side patronizes any exited, prostituted woman who says that torture is the day-to-day experience for the majority of prostitutes.
It is up to the reader/listener whose voices are the most important to listen to.
***
Rebecca posted this as a comment to her last guest post, but I believe it deserves and needs to be a post in its own right. The lies need to stop. The patronizing, the victimizing and revictimizing, the whitewashing and propaganda: ALL need to stop.
Thanks again, Rebecca. You can count on it that no matter what, here, your voice will be heard, published, and given the respect it is due.
Heart
It would be fruitless for anyone to launch an open attack on Rebecca because of her obvious integrity and authenticity, so step two toward invalidation is to make her a pitiable exceptional to the (alleged) rule. Rebecca, keep telling your story and insights, please!
When all else fails those who seek to deny the reality of men’s casual, routine, normalised violence against women always but always resort to patronisation.
Saying a ’story’ sic is ’sad’ means the person reading or hearing it does not have to actually listen and understand, instead they can detach themselves from what they are hearing/reading, because of course, they would never be subjected to such routine, normalised male violence.
So it is with prostitution - there are innumerable ways and attempts at discrediting women who have either exited prostitution or else are attempting to seek a way out when so many individuals only want them to stay.
The excusers and deniers always seek a group or individual to use as scapegoat(s) because this effectively means they will not have to actually face the real issues and address their accountability. Ever wondered why certain groups are defined as ‘deviant’ or to blame? Ever wondered why it is always women’s fault when men commit violence against them? Answer is because these groups/individuals are scapegoats.
I happen to know that many women’s experiences of male violence and the routine denials and excuses, serve to render such women even more determined to speak out against male abuse of power. My experiences although not the same as Rebecca’s caused me to challenge male power and male violence - not because I had read about radical feminism but because I refused to accept men’s and their supporters’ claims that women are naturally inferior and therefore men are entitled as a group to inflict sexual violence in whatever shape or form. It was not until much later that I began to learn and understand just precisely how this abuse of male power operates and why so many men who though not violent prefer to be ‘bystanders’ and thereby indirectly ensure male power and male violence will continue unabated.
Keep speaking the truth Rebecca because you are making a difference. If you were not - your words would be ignored and no one would trouble themselves with making false accusations and false claims of sympathy. Remember too, that if radical feminism was just another theory why then is so much effort put into attempting to demonise and discredit radical feminism. Is it perhaps because the truth is being spoken?
Despite the incredibly small numbers of radical feminists worldwide, I too am amazed at all the energy men put into discrediting it.
When it comes to pornography and prostitution, radical feminism gets at the “father load” of profit men make in both these enterprises. The use of women’s bodies is the ultimate male industry, whether it is a single wife controlled by a violent husband, or a group of male athletes out to chase women down in bars, the end result is the same.
I personally think it is a lost cause to try to get through to men on this subject. They really have no clue. But what men fear the most is when all the women all over the world suddenly wake up.
when that happens, women will be free. Until that time, the male propaganda machine has a lot to lose if more women actually think about their lives politically rather than personally.
Anyone who can read Rebecca’s powerful critique of male terrorism: prostitution, pornography, rape, child sexual abuse and think that she is ‘brainwashed’ is a complete and total moron. I agree with Jennifer, Rebecca’s voice is so important. Dismissing her experiences as a ’sad case’, as ‘brainwashing’ is necessary for the status quos to maintain their delusions. Rebecca, your voice is coming through loud and clear for most women. I could be wrong but I believe that the morons are a minority.
Thanks everyone.
Heart, I really hope that I have not caused you too much trouble, for I do know they will not “attack” me, but vent onto other radical feminists.
I think you have shown a great deal of courage to continue to publish the actions and words of exited prostituted women.
Thanks for allowing their truths to express the terrible conditions that are in the sex trade.
Satsuma - I was not just writing about men, but also women who are pro-sex trade and then called themselves feminists. They are a group that can be very patronising to exited prostitutes who dare to speak out. Maybe they will not never change their views, but I still believe it is important to say my opinions.
Although I know all male violence is interconnected, I also think it is very important to say how being in the sex tradeis different.
For I would framed it in the language of torture and deeply connected to human rights. For most men who use prostituted women and girls see them as non-humans.
This means I would view it as rape or battery, or should framed as sadism - rather as torture where the men wank into the woman or girl who becomes an object. She becomes a a piece of property that any man can use and do whatever he wants.
Framed as torture it will be seen the mental, physical and sexual abuses are, leaving no space for trauma, and can only be survived by closing out the reality.
This closing out includes acting tough, including believing that you are in control, imaging what should be happening rather than knowing the violence.
It needs to heard that prostitution affects trust issues with both men and women. It needs to heard that that exited should their truths in their own words, and just have to fit into whatever stereotype the listener wants.
I see there are connections with rape, child abuse and domestic violence, but listen and hear the differences.
For me feminism is about letting women say say their truths in their own words.