American Woman, DV Survivor, Terrorized Abroad: Can You Help?
Aug 2nd, 2008 by admin
I received an e-mail recently from Bean, a radfem I’ve known online since 2000 or so, who works for a nonprofit organization that tries to help American women who live in foreign countries and who are attempting to leave battering partners who are citizens of those countries.
She described a very urgent situation to me and asked for my help. I have exhausted every avenue I could find privately in the attempt to help the woman she told me about, and so I am turning to my readers for whatever help or ideas you may be able to provide.
The situation involves a woman who married a French man and moved to France. She had a child with this man, who became increasingly abusive, and finally she left him and returned to the United States with her child. He then filed a petition under the the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abduction. This law was originally created to protect women whose abusers were taking their children out of the country; now, as with similar laws in the United States, it is mostly used by male abusers to terrorize women who are trying to leave them. The judge who presided over the hearing that resulted from this filing ruled that although the woman was being abused, she should nevertheless return with her child to France for hearings on custody. The woman did return and there was a hearing for temporary custody resulting in a joint custody ruling. The hearing to determine permanent custody was postponed, and now the court is in recess until the fall.
The woman involved has been staying in a residence hotel with her child to the tune of the equivalent of $435 per week. The room has a small hot plate and small sink. She has now overstayed her tourist visa and has run out of money. Her family has done everything they could: refinanced their house, sold their possessions, everything. The nonprofit bean works for has also exhausted its financial resources trying to help. The woman cannot rent an apartment or get a job because she does not have resident status; she can’t get resident status herself, because she is still legally married and her “husband” has to file the papers, which he isn’t doing. In fact, he has taken off on an international vacation. She attempted to get help from the U.S. Embassy and was told by a French national working there that she was a “kidnapper” and should face the consequences. She can’t stay in the local DV shelters because she is not a citizen, not a resident, and is not a refugee. If she ends up on the street with her child, social services will take action against her (which was probably the father’s plan in the first place). A lawyer in the U.S. has agreed to represent her if she can get here, but a block has been placed on her child’s visa, so that isn’t an option either.
I am asking my readers for any help you might be able to give this woman. Do any of you know of feminists or feminist organizations in France to which she could turn and possibly find a place to stay? Not organizations you can find by googling, because those of us who are trying to help her know of those– I am hoping someone might have real connections with organizations or individuals who could help. Do you have friends in France, for example, who are feminists who might be able to help or offer suggestions?
Can you donate money for this woman? Your donations can be tax deductible because you can give directly to the nonprofit Bean works for if you choose. If you’d rather, you can donate to my paypal account marking your donation “For the woman in France” and I will forward it along. Please e-mail me if you would like me to put you in touch with Bean directly.
I hear of these cases every single day and I feel so overwhelmed by them. A woman grabs her child and runs for her life and ends up standing alone against a an incredibly complex and daunting array of patriarchal institutions and individuals determined to protect men’s interests, no matter what the men have done. We used to have a very good, functioning underground railroad in the U.S. that helped women and their children to escape and to rebuild their lives. This movement isn’t dead, but it’s weakened and struggling, and in any event, it won’t help this woman who is living in France.
Again, if you can help, please e-mail me or donate via the Paypal button on the sidebar.
Full text of the Hague Convention on the Civil Aspects of International Child Abductio
You can also google Merle Weiner of the University of Oregon Law School, who is an expert on these issues, for more information about issues around battered women living abroad and attempting to leave.
Heart
Galloise Blonde , who used to post at Twisty’s is connected with this site below. She referred to it as “my site” in one posting at IBTP. The latest post I found for her at IBTP was spring 2007.
There’s a name and address mid-left. I don’t know if that’s her but even if not, worth an e-mail. This looks like a good group who would have contacts.
http://stophonourkillings.com/
Or, Twisty might have an e-mail for Galloise Blonde.
Thanks, Sis, I e-mailed Galloise Blonde using the e-mail from the site (which I definitely will add to the blogroll) and I hope to hear back. If everyone could get this word out on your various networks, maybe we can get some local support for this woman. I think it would be so GREAT if we could find some feminists who knew someone who had a place she could stay without having to pay rent while she’s waiting for her hearings.
Women, we have raised $200 so far! If we can raise $250 more, that will give the woman in France, at the very least, housing for another week and time to make some connections and find a better place to stay. Even $5 makes a difference. If everybody reading sends $5, we’ll be there in a heartbeat.
If you can’t send $5 - I know that one well, I understand — send ideas, prayers, suggestions, light a candle, pray or do ritual work for this woman alone with her small child among many hostile men. We really need some connections in France, who knows some French feminists?
Know that when you need this help, we will all be there for you, too. It’s like an investment, like money in the bank, every time women support women. That’s what it’s all about.
xxxooo
Thanks Sis, for that suggestion. I am not familiar with this woman or this organization, and any suggestions are more than welcomed at this point. I do, know, however, that most of the organizations like this have been unable to help her. Unfortunately, because of the way they are set up, they have been unable (and in a few cases, perhaps, unwilling) to help an American woman, who they all perceive to be privileged by the fact of her citizenship. It is hard to look beyond that, sometimes, when you are working with women in more obviously difficult situations. I also know that organizations can be limited in who they can help — the organization I work for helps Americans living overseas (or who have recently fled back to the US). Unfortunately, our money and time is extremely limited, so we simply can’t help foreign nationals who have fled to the US (we do try to connect them to resources, but we can’t take them on as clients). So, I do understand that many of these orgs have limits, but I also know that this individual woman needs some serious help.
And to those who have already donated money (or ideas or suggestions) I am profoundly grateful, and I know this woman will be, too. At this point, we are trying not to reveal too much identifying information as we want to keep her as safe as possible. But, I know that once she is safe, she will want to come forward and make her story public - both pointing out the failures of this world culture that allowed this and the wonderful grassroots efforts of women who have helped her. She hopes to use her story to bring about awareness and help other women. But first she needs to get safe.
Yes I think what you’ve said will apply. I thought however they might know a lawyer who could help. What is the woman’s profession? Sometimes, professional associations can be helpful, even to take her in perhaps. For example, there are international teacher’s associations, with local chapters. Or those house exchange organizations. Maybe one of them would give her shelter, in exchange for a month in Boston, or I dunno, Pukatawagan. Etc.
It sounds like she doesn’t have a French family lawyer? Is that true?
It sounds like that’s not only important for her upcoming custody hearing but because, since she’s still married, she might be able to access some of her husband’s assets over there as jointly-owned property.
She does have an attorney in France. I’m not he’s the best attorney, but he’s the best she can afford. It may be possible to get some of her husband’s assets, perhaps even child and/or spousal support. But, in order for that to happen, they have to go to court, and that won’t happen until at least September, because the court is on summer recess. So, if she wants to comply with the laws and stay in France, she will have to figure out a way to do so until at least September.