“The Men That Used Me”
Jul 30th, 2008 by admin
I think it is natural for a prostituted woman or girl not to see the individual. When men from all backgrounds degrade her and use violence on her.
But I feel a need to show some of the men that used me. I cannot see all, because most have become a mass
I hate that. I hate that men can rape, and I don’t see their face. I hate that men could torture me, and I do not even know how men were in the room.
I hate that I was raped for so long by so many men that each man I show is just the tip of the iceberg.
For me, that is the worse effect of prostitution is that my memory has been wrecked.
And all men who used me look the same.
One way I remember is through the staring of men before, during and after they used me.
It was a look where I could not believe in hope. In that stare, I lose that I was human.
I became a sex object.
I feel that look send fear into me. I feel it turning me into an obedient sex toy.
That stare has enter my nightmares.
I want to to see beyond that stare.
I know I was raped by rich African students. Men who were expecting to be rulers.
Sometimes when I view governments from all countries and cultures, I think of the tortures those men put me through.
Men like that made me an anarchist.
Read the rest of Rebecca’s post.
Heart
Than-you so much, this has made me cry to see my words on your site. That post was very difficult to write, and for me to read. Respect, Rebecca
Thank you, Rebecca, for writing this. Again, I know what this has to cost you. I am trying to place myself in your situation and to try to experience these threads about the cartoon the way you might be experiencing them. It’s hard for me to do this. It also makes me cry and in particular, people defending men or standing up for men or having men’s backs and erasing women who have lived through what you have lived through, dear god. Too, you are so freaking brave. Not many who have been through what you have could write about this.
Respect,
Heart
I feel that writing about this has to be done, for it help to ease the memories.
For me, I have say my truth. It is deeply painful, draining and can be scary. But the johns must be seen for who they are.
It is damned knowing how johns see women and girls in the sex trade. I cannot be detached. I cannot rememer without a deep sickness.
These act out of hate - so why are so many people making excuses for them.
I wonder if many, many women who have been prostituted suffer from PTSD? The horrible facts that (1) many of them die as a direct or indirect effect of their conditions in the sex trade (murder, drugs, etc.) and (2) that their devaluation by officials in medical and mental health professions keeps them from receiving proper diagnosis and care cover up this possible permanent debility. Rebecca’s survivor’s spirit and eloquence have allowed us and many others have insights into her life and what prostitution has wrought upon her health and well-being. How many of our similarly abused sisters are dead or otherwise silenced so we can’t know their pain?
Well, we know for sure the majority are locked in Stockholm Syndrome. We can only see it and nod in recognition. As long as they stay fighting, as misdirected as it might be, they will eventually come through.